Take A Seat

Did you know that Ammonium Lauryl Sulfate is a molecule consisting of a long nonpolar hydrocarbon chain and a polar sulfate end group – the combination of which make it a surfactant?

Or did you know that Guar hydroxypropyltrimonium chloride is an organic compound that is a water-soluble quaternary ammonium derivative of guar gum?

Not many people know the above, and neither did I till the creation of this post. Strangely, I’m pretty sure I’ve ‘read’ the words ammonium, lauryl, sulfate, guar, hydroxypropyltrimonium, and chloride at least 30 times in my life because they are used in the production of shampoo, whose label I have read repeatedly.

Many times when ‘nature called’ (and asked that I be seated), I’d forget to bring along a book or a newspaper, so instead, I’d grab the closest product the bathroom presented to be my literary source. (At this point, you may have figured out that I was often forgetful, and shampoo bottles were frequently at hand).

Reading on ‘the throne’ was something i’ve always done, and clearly, it doesn’t really matter what I have to read when I sit (no… it’s not a typo that is missing the letter ‘h’) because i need something to ‘occupy my eyes’. What I mean is, where am I going to look otherwise?

Dogs know what I’m talking about. Ever noticed how they appear awkward (and make that face) when they are attending nature’s similar call? It’s not that they’re embarrassed (they’re not exactly hiding are they?), it’s because they don’t have anywhere to look.

It’s worse when I’m standing. Yes, this process does occupy my eyes, however it does so with a (not particularly nice) view as I need to ensure that what i’m doing lands within the designated area.

Over time, a few things dawned on me to suggest that it’s actually better to always sit.

  • There is no reason whatsoever (unless at a urinal, or outdoors) that I need to stand for the brief time nature and I reacquaint.
  • The consequences of a ‘bad aim’ (of which there are many causes) is the creation of unsightly splashes/spots and a lingering unpleasant smell. Note that although they don’t appear to exist, trust me, they do.
  • Extra time and effort is subsequently required to clean up.
  • And finally, even though I could detail the best way to clean the above, preventing their existence is my preferred advice to pass on.

So the next time nature wants your attention (and to be honest if you can actually break a lifelong habit), take a seat.

It’s not embarrassing, it’s not going to hurt (in fact you already know it will be more comfortable), it’s going to keep the bathroom cleaner, and if you’re like me, you can allot this time to catch up on the news, compose an email, watch something on Instagram, or maybe even contribute to a blog.